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September 28, 2004 |
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September 28, 2004 |
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Confirming what many had already sensed, university health officials said that a "run" of colds has hit students less than a month into school... The
legitimacy of Michael Hannigan's Ph.D. remains in question, but a new
report by the U.S. Government Accountability Office sheds new light on
diploma mills and their easily obtained products. Fuel
cell celebrates first birthday In what
University of Alaska Fairbanks officials are calling a "significant
milestone," a fuel cell designed to cut-down on carbon dioxide
emissions passed its one-year operational mark... Faculty senate has "no confidence" in president-elect Following
allegations that President-Elect Michael Hannigan received his Ph.D.
from a "diploma mill", UAF Faculty Senate members took no
official action last Monday after a committee investigating the matter
submitted a report recommending that Hannigan retain his office. PFD no longer pays for college Since
he was born, Troy Lawlor, 20, has received Permanent Fund Dividend
checks and stored them away in savings. The sophomore computer science
major's parents placed the money in various Certificates of Deposit over
the years with the hope that he'd one day use them for college. Admit it freshmen, you're disgusting human beings. Now, I don't mean that as a character judgment or personal attack. I'm talking pure, irrefutable data here. Given your age, emotional state, orgasmic excitement and so on; you're dirty, oily, horny little things. And you're proud of it. Fantastic. Whatever... Skateboarding to be officially allowed A newly drafted safety policy will allow the use of skateboards on campus, and also define the rules for snowboards and roller blades, pending approval from Chancellor Jones. New handrails with deterrent devices have also been installed by Facilities Services to prevent illegal usage... The Tradition Stone: "Here Lies Tradition" Tradition will continue this week with the Tradition Stone's annual reappearance, but where it is now and who will attempt to steal it this year remains a mystery... West Ridge tree cutting to resume Monday After
a series of delays and substantial public outcry, a UAF-contracted
company will begin removing several hundred trees near the West Ridge
Trailhead this week, though substantially fewer trees will be cut down
than were slated for the saw last week. |
Editorial:
Let's motivate ourselves for a change If
a tree falls in a UAF forest it definitely makes a sound. A
loud one... By
the time you read this, I will no longer be an employee of KSUA. For
over two years I was the Program Director at our station, responsible
for scheduling, coordinating volunteers, and quality control, among many
things. However, due to recent events, I have decided to resign from the
station that I love so much.
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Bierock:
a savory ground beef and sauerkraut mixture baked between two layers of
crescent roll dough. Beerock:
a plain, non-seasoned mixture of ground beef and limp, tasteless
sauerkraut baked in a limp whole-wheat dough. UAF Spotlight: "Episodes in DadGad" The
habits of the college-aged loner musician, quiet and slightly rebellious
by nature, are as strange and motley as the reclusive race itself. Where do these angst-ridden youth congregate? Why
do they belabor already evident social dilemmas?
How do they reproduce? UAF
Goes Clubbin' Some
gifts inevitably go to waste. Case
in point: the human body, at birth, can adeptly maneuver through water.
No joke. Scuba
Steve's got nothing on me. Yet,
for some reason, chucking a newborn into a pool is frowned upon by our
kind. And so, this innate
talent withers, lying in wait for the eventual tyranny of purchased swim
lessons. It's sad, I know,
but this is the way of things amongst a bipedal hierarchy.
Who will stand up to the insanity?
To the Patty Center (rapidly twirling and wildly zoomed pair of
flippers)! |
Hockey:
Sylvestre named team captain Head
Coach Tavis MacMillan has decided senior center Jared Sylvestre will be
the captain of the UAF hockey team for the second year in a row.
Lady Nanooks trounce St. Martin, succumb to the Wildcats Women's
volleyball had a difficult road trip two weeks ago, dropping two matches
against teams they probably should have beat.
Freshman Mallory McCormick said of the disappointing trip,
"We just seemed to have no energy, and made a lot of stupid
mistakes." |
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