The Olympic-size ice sheet in the Carlson Center, home of the UAF Nanook ice hockey team, has been found to be shrinking at an unprecedented pace. Scientists from UAF's Center for Global Change and Arctic System Research recently found the ice, which under normal conditions is approximately 200 feet long by 100 feet wide, to have shrunk to only 85 feet in width. Its length was unchanged.

"This rapid change is size, over 3,000 square feet of shrinkage in less than two months, can only be caused by global warming," said Glenn Yeasty, a scientist with the Center for Global Change. "I know the conservatives in political office will come up with another explanation to avoid doing anything about this, but if anything is a perfect example of global climate change, this is it. A 15-percent loss rate on the largest ice sheet in the Fairbanks area can only be described as catastrophic."

A spokesperson for the Carlson Center denied that global climate change was a factor, claiming that the building's so-called freezer system had malfunctioned. "The Carlson Center is an enclosed building, with controlled temperature conditions and a large freezer system in the floor to keep the ice cold," said Krik Patton, the Carlson Center's director of operations. "Part of the system burned out last week, and we haven't been able to fix it yet."

The CGC&ASR said Patton's claims were preposterous. "There is no way that a simple system failure can be responsible for such a large decrease in ice area." The Center has recently filed a lawsuit with the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, naming the Borough as at fault in the ice sheet's rapid decrease. "If the Fairbanks North Star Borough is unable to properly maintain one of the largest reserves of fresh water within its borders, then we must force them to do so."

One of the primary tenants of the Carlson Center is the UAF ice hockey program, whose coach, Tavis MacMillian, sees a gem coming out of this debacle. "The Carlson Center ice is a standard Olympic sheet, 200-by-100 feet," said MacMillian. "Almost all NCAA teams, including most of those in the CCHA, play on a smaller, 200-by-85-foot size ice rink, which is very similar to the new size of the Carlson Center. This will be good for the team in upcoming years, as we won't have as much trouble adapting to the smaller ice at other schools."