Pet owners of UAF, I implore you-I'm slobbering and begging at you-please remember us dogs when buying gifts this holiday season. Far too often, your faithful four-legged friends are left out of the holiday gift giving and I say it's time for Fido, Killer and Bandit to join Mom, Dad and the rest of the names on your shopping list.

Yeah, that's right, we want in on the action. You might figure that we have no idea what's going on, that us dogs aren't smart enough to see that we're being left out, but we know more than you think. In reality, we already know what's wrapped up in those presents, and none of them smells like a doggie bone.

There's usually little to the season that gets us excited. Let me tell you something: Getting yelled at for piddling on the Christmas tree is not my idea of getting in the holiday spirit. I even know a Jewish poodle that burnt his tail on a fully lit menorah last year. It's bad enough with the parties, the overpowering smell of eggnog (which is even more unbearable to our sensitive noses) and even watching intently as you stuff your faces with honey glazed ham after honey glazed ham, getting none of it for ourselves...

If only there were a few surprises for us on Christmas morning.

You can't go wrong with food, and there's nothing in the world that tells a dog you love them more than giving him a side of beef. Seeing Rex tearing apart a raw slab of cow with his bloody fangs and that wild animal look in his eye not only makes him feel good, but it'll warm your heart as well.

Chew toys are always good too. Lots of dogs like the ones that squeak, but personally I appreciate a toy's texture, smell and durability a whole lot more than any fancy squeaker. Plus, I can't rest until that squeaker is dead and silent, and three days of compulsive chewing never did anybody any good.

A dried out pig's ear is also a great gift, but if you're going to buy the ear, you might as well just go ahead buy the whole pig. I hear Vietnamese pot-bellied pigs are fashionable and tasty.

We all know a little dog music can really liven up your furry friend's life. A new album out this year, "The world's best dog music CD... ever," sounds as if it might have little potential, but some of us like stick with the classics: Three Dog Night, Dog Eat Dog, Hound Dog Taylor, and of course, Snoop Dogg.

Have a safe and happy holiday season, and don't forget to "drop" some of that ham.