I’ve now been awake for more than 26 hours, and it’s times like these, when I’m feeling really loopy and tired, that I ask myself questions like, “Where did humankind come from?” or “How was the universe created?” or “Why am I wearing a bicycle helmet while typing at a computer at three a.m. on a Monday morning?”

Honestly, as much of a smartass as I am, I cannot answer any of those questions (except for the bicycle helmet, which I’ll tell you about later), and though I don’t know for certain that humans evolved from apes, it does seem possible. Actually, the idea is really not that hard to accept when looking at side-by-side pictures our own governor and a silverback gorilla. Conjuring up the image of a common ancestor between Murkowski (or any of us for that matter) and a knuckle-dragging primate is just not much of a stretch of the imagination.

As a side note, I extend my sincerest apologies to the almost certainly insulted gorillas of the world, who at this very moment are probably spitting out their morning bananas in disgust as they read this with a cup of coffee.

But getting back to the point, the idea that a higher power, be it God or a Flying Spaghetti Monster, created the universe and everything in it, makes just as much sense as the theory of evolution (plus it’s way more fun to make shit up). Because really, how could we have ended up with such a perfect blend of oxygen, hydrogen and carbon; earth, air and water; or crackers and Cheese Whiz if some cosmic engineer had not designed it that way? Is it really possible that the limitless expanding universe happened to randomly sprinkle the right ingredients in the right place for just the right amount of time?

That, my friends, I simply do not know.

As for the bicycle helmet, I find that it helps when we’re getting the paper ready for publication after 26 hours with no sleep. This past weekend was spent in New York City attending a journalism conference, and after leaving early this morning via Newark, New Jersey, a place where intelligent design means building a bus so airtight that it doesn’t smell like somebody farted in it, I arrived back in time to help finish the Sun Star.

With the helmet on, I don’t have to worry about suddenly passing out on the keyboard and hurting my zxkkisdkklidnc,.l.;….