Well, well, well…

It' looks like all of my fears have come true. When I left for my exchange, I knew the paper would suffer—I was the star reporter and all—but I never realized how quickly it would decompose into a lobber pile of mucus wrapped up in the shape of a newspaper.

Since I left you guys haven't covered any real news. What happened to all the hard hitting, breaking news you guys used to report on? Oh, that's right, I was the one doing all of the reporting while the rest of you were squabbling about the Oscars and what crude, obscene photo to put on the cover.

It's pretty sad that one man could out-report all of you so-called journalists put together. I mean, I expected as much from Alex Grantham, but Robinson Duffy and Casey Grove have at least registered for journalism classes.

Do you need me to come back and save your sorry asses? 'Cause I will. I mean, it's pretty clear that you guys need me.

I guess I'll have to save the day once again.

--Nate Raymond

Former Sun Star Super Star

(You know it baby!)

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