Ice Art Alaska is crazy insane, like a well-lit-up ice carnival with demented nether creatures, giant sandworms and exploding sunrays.

Kids love it. They go through the maze or ride the spinny things or run around on the enclosed ice rink, their every move instantly displayed on the Internet via a web cam. So for kids and other Fairbanksans, it is probably the best show in town now that the ‘Nooks are off the ice. China’s Qifeng and Zhe An's piece “Love” is worth the six dollar admission alone.

Jazzed up on coffee, I strolled the lanes of Ice town to view its menagerie of exotic beasts and creatures locked in mortal combat. . It was not always pretty, but nothing else could be done. Anything goes under those exotic blinding lights, and the artists know it.

Pieces are either multi or single, and realistic or abstract themed. There seemed to be large overlap sometimes between “reality” and “abstract” pieces. The whole scene could get goddamn weird, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.

Strange and bizarre creatures lurked everywhere; pigs and whales peek out from the dark. Out of the ice block prisons come these animals, playing instruments, lashed to the cart and dancing to the gong beats of their demonic monkey king. We do live in strange times, but I wouldn’t call a conga line of jungle creatures dancing to the beat of a monkey slave driver something I would expect to see everyday, in ice or otherwise.

Generally the rest of the exhibits that weren’t fanciful creatures were WASPy males fighting the powers that be for Supremacy of the Universe.

You know, WASPy males bucking broncos, WASPy males fighting bulls, WASPy muscle-bound Greek males freeing themselves from the chains of adversity, or something like that. They were enthralling.

Some of the creations had already begun the long road back to liquidity, thanks to the hot March Sun. Not even huge south facing banners could save the artist’s creations from their watery destiny, nor from mine, for you see, I fell in love.

Turning the corner, I stopped. A beautiful woman was looking at me—piercing me with her glazed eye—staring at me from behind her protective fence, lilting away from the flaming ice that was her other half. They call her "Fire of Love." Like many beauties, the Russians created her, and boy was she gorgeous.

She gestured towards me with an elegant, downward sloping point that probably, at one point, was an arm. Agog with anticipation, I glanced about tentatively. Looking across both shoulders, I reached out and, making contact, broke off the last eight inches of her perfectly carved ice arm. No, just kidding, but I did touch her, and from that initial spark, I knew that our love was true, and she wanted to be with me.

Alas it is not to be, for not even the gods could create such a beauty, and so they must destroy her with the malice of old age in the rays of the March sun.

So go. Go at night. Just remember, don't even think of touching or talking to the "Fire of Love." That one’s mine.

Photo by Stephanie Taylor/ Sun Star
"Expanding Universe" was completed by two artists from China on March 5, 2005. The ice sculpture was in the single block competition of the World Ice Art Championships.

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